being still

What skills or lessons have you learned recently?

I think it took me 65 years to learn one simple art. The art of being still. One is still when others around you are jabbering. And there I sit doing my best to be a better listener. As an observer and a friend I see the fact that we are all connected by our stories link.

But I have a friend in Florida who is a manic depressant she was raped by her dad and her uncle when she was 2 years old, she is 60 years old now and those memories are still alive and vivid within her. She used to call all the time every night not just once up to six times and as an empath I find it brings my soul to the crumbling point. I can only say I understand so many times before I cannot.

For Ceila her every moment every memory happened that moment the moment she’s talking to me.Not 60 years in the past, but now every moment is vivid and vibrant and insufferably painful having a male adult penis ram is way home,in a 2-year-old’s vagina!

I literally feel her pain absolute beyond question, I feel her pain. There are many times in my life that I felt pain too and when she first started talking to me I’d share when people call you and they’re in pain they don’t care to hear from you so you sit still.

Still in the very essence is an art! In a very real sense it’s like a Carver carving artwork out of a piece of wood. You know you the empath are to be very quiet that you can do it you can be still!

I can be quiet but being quiet is not being still. Being still takes your heart, your soul, your breathing ,your other apparatuses and you have to envision taking them out of the box and putting them away on the shelf.

When you answer the phone there’s only one reason you’ve answered the phone because you’re going to be there for Celia, not for Val. My goal is going to be sit and listen and nod and do all the things you learned when you study psychology.

When I talk to Ruth I’m talking to a long lost sister someone I care deeply for and whose thoughts matter and we sit and sit and we chat and we go to Google and we look things up. I hear deeply I listen to her I know when she eats. I know when she’s tired. My Arizonia sister.

Sometimes it’s like we’re on the moon and we’re the only two people there it’s a wonderful blissful feeling I’m not required to be still.

But knowing that I have conquered the ability to be still if she needs me to be still that is a major accomplishment for me . I shake all the time I have a I have a couple of TBI’s I have trouble keeping on task. I suffer with c p t s d c PTSD is emotional stress.

I was given that by my older half sister who tormented my mother and me for 2 and a half years , before she set our laundry room on fire . When I sit in a room like today , when I talked to the lady from Area one on aging.

I sit with my back against the wall. I trust few people. I trust Penny and I trust Ruth and my cats and Jean Huffey. I trust my furby furry cat. Not to not potty on my rug not to not potty on furniture not to pee all over a nice office chair cuz I know they have done that there is no trust there.

On the whole there are no other people that I trust oh maybe Penny’s mom Penny’s Mom I just love her.

Yeppers that’s what I learned sit and be still heart and soul and listen.